Whilst rooting about in old notebooks to try and find a short story I am cannibalising, this old dream popped up. Normally they go in to the book to the right of the bed, but this one some how ended up in a Uni notebook from 2005, about ten pages before the aforementioned short (you can tell how much I enjoyed my 3rd year lectures).
'At a temple run by a friend. I am not religious, but I want to show his endeavour my support. Many faiths worship there. I am unsure what specific religions are involved. I am also apparently in some kind of homosexual relationship with the receptionist. The layout of the building is like that or the department of biology at the university of Northampton, but it sits on the site of The Barrels pub. The A505 has been replaced by allotments.
One evening, there is an attack on the temple. A green eyed woman uses some sort of swirling blue fire to sweep away furniture etc. She sucks people in to a vacuum also. I escape via a half open window and take to the allotments. I am chased by guards with dogs through a series of bamboo structures, not entirely dissimilar to Green Fields at Glastonbury but they give up the search when I disguise myself as Shilpa Shetty.
I go to catch a bus from outside the Crem (the road has reasserted itself). It is busy and slightly out of position. The bus crashes behind the stop, but I climb on regardless. The driver asks me to put the fare in a bumbag on the floor, which I do. All about is scattered change. I sit with Canadian pornstar Lanny Barby, who explains that if she wakes up at 8am in the morning, she always has a good day. She is not a pornstar I am keen on. The bus, inexplicably, becomes a coach and I decide to leave. I am then back at the temple somehow, and everyone seems all right following the attack. The receptionist, my apparent lover, asks how I escaped the attack, and I tell him. Whilst doing so I notice that some of the evil women who attacked the temple have been welcomed in to the fold. This upsets me. The receptionist says he loves me and that he'll see me later. This confuses me.
Heading for Hitchin again, I am on a coach trip of some kind, to a farm run by Hugh Fearnley-Wittingstall. The place is full of chickens and pigs and angry men, though oddly laid out like a concentration camp. The mud has a weird texture to it. Wandering away from the group, I find a rocky outcrop, looking out over a magnificent landscape of yellowy sweeping hills, low clouds and a bridge decorated in red and gold. The outcrop is unstable so I collect some interesting stones as souvenirs for Zoe (bollocks to the receptionist). I ask a man in a flatcap, who is apparently a vet, what the view is of. He says 'Dunstable'.
I am late for the coaches. They are coloured pink, and snake past me one by one in to clogged streets filled with unknown shops. Some people on the coach laugh at me. Hugh, who apparently runs the trip as well as the farm, simply shrugs his shoulders. 'Should've got here sooner,' someone yells, which is strangely followed by someone else yelling 'Should've gone to specsavers'. I pull out my wallet. I'll use my credit card to buy a train ticket home, I think, and charge it as expenses to the coach wankers.'
'At a temple run by a friend. I am not religious, but I want to show his endeavour my support. Many faiths worship there. I am unsure what specific religions are involved. I am also apparently in some kind of homosexual relationship with the receptionist. The layout of the building is like that or the department of biology at the university of Northampton, but it sits on the site of The Barrels pub. The A505 has been replaced by allotments.
One evening, there is an attack on the temple. A green eyed woman uses some sort of swirling blue fire to sweep away furniture etc. She sucks people in to a vacuum also. I escape via a half open window and take to the allotments. I am chased by guards with dogs through a series of bamboo structures, not entirely dissimilar to Green Fields at Glastonbury but they give up the search when I disguise myself as Shilpa Shetty.
I go to catch a bus from outside the Crem (the road has reasserted itself). It is busy and slightly out of position. The bus crashes behind the stop, but I climb on regardless. The driver asks me to put the fare in a bumbag on the floor, which I do. All about is scattered change. I sit with Canadian pornstar Lanny Barby, who explains that if she wakes up at 8am in the morning, she always has a good day. She is not a pornstar I am keen on. The bus, inexplicably, becomes a coach and I decide to leave. I am then back at the temple somehow, and everyone seems all right following the attack. The receptionist, my apparent lover, asks how I escaped the attack, and I tell him. Whilst doing so I notice that some of the evil women who attacked the temple have been welcomed in to the fold. This upsets me. The receptionist says he loves me and that he'll see me later. This confuses me.
Heading for Hitchin again, I am on a coach trip of some kind, to a farm run by Hugh Fearnley-Wittingstall. The place is full of chickens and pigs and angry men, though oddly laid out like a concentration camp. The mud has a weird texture to it. Wandering away from the group, I find a rocky outcrop, looking out over a magnificent landscape of yellowy sweeping hills, low clouds and a bridge decorated in red and gold. The outcrop is unstable so I collect some interesting stones as souvenirs for Zoe (bollocks to the receptionist). I ask a man in a flatcap, who is apparently a vet, what the view is of. He says 'Dunstable'.
I am late for the coaches. They are coloured pink, and snake past me one by one in to clogged streets filled with unknown shops. Some people on the coach laugh at me. Hugh, who apparently runs the trip as well as the farm, simply shrugs his shoulders. 'Should've got here sooner,' someone yells, which is strangely followed by someone else yelling 'Should've gone to specsavers'. I pull out my wallet. I'll use my credit card to buy a train ticket home, I think, and charge it as expenses to the coach wankers.'
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